A Political Satire
By Anonymous
Since the fall of the regime of Yahya Jammeh, many people with political ambitions have come to believe that their chances of ascending to the highest political office in The Gambia has been given new lifelines. The national transformation also includes the emerging reality that The Gambia has become a free land for anyone with political ambitions to boldly declared their intentions and plans. During Jammeh’s twenty-two years reign, the smallest West African country has about six opposition parties but only three among them were actively engaged with the masses. Today, the country has more than twelve opposition parties and still counting.
Many political pundits opined that the rise of Adama Barrow, a high school graduate and a small business owner, to the highest office of the land is a contributing factor to the surge of new political parties in The Gambia. The current president does not embody any of the conventional characteristics of a “typical politician.” Before becoming president, he was a member of the United Democratic Party (UDP) as the assistant treasurer. He was said to have been “an errand boy” for Amadou Sanneh, and a money machine to the party due to his generosity. He was never seen as someone who has the intellectual pedigree to lead the UDP. The point is, most people who have formed new political parties are convinced that they do not need to embody any of the characteristics of a “typical politician.” After two decades of political oppression, their political ambitions have been unleashed by thoughts in their inner voices that “if Adama Barrow could become President, why not me?” This mindset that “I-must-be-at-the-helm-of-affairs” has led to the selection of people with questionable characters as party leaders. Lamenting of the catastrophic prospect of mediocrity in control of state power, Modou Barrow, a political scientist, said “this should be a concern for Gambians.”
A new political party is about to be added to the mix. According to my sources, the incoming new party will be called the Happy People’s Party (HPP). The Party will be launched in 2021 before elections. The founders of the party believed that the Barrow Administration is fiscally irresponsible, and incapable of putting the needs and aspirations of the Gambian people as the central focus of its mission. The mere thought of this sends embers of chills through their brains and firestones of stress through their spines.
One of the founders of the HPP said that “the Smiling Coast of Africa has now become the Crying Coast of Africa. This is a travesty. We must make our people happy. We need a credible leadership. No party in The Gambia has the agenda that has been focused on making The Gambian people happy ever. Our people will be happy when they don’t have to worry about their three-daily square meals, clean-drinking water, free education, universal-quality healthcare, clean environment, stable electricity, state-of the-art public transportation, good infrastructure, etc., — these are the things the HPP wants for our people.”
Elaborating on how the HPP intends to achieve these objectives, another member of the senior executive committee of the impending new party who spoke to me on condition of anonymity said “we have a whole plan in place. We will release everything once we are officially registered. We will release the names of everyone in a leadership position. This will be the most transparent political party in the history of The Gambia.”
Sources told me that the founders of the HPP include Ebrima Dibba—a prominent member of UDP) who relocated from Seattle to The Gambia, Seedy Kinteh—a tycoon currently residing in Seattle, Alhagie Kinteh—a respected IT technician, Lamin Conteh—a prominent healthcare technician and a successful businessman, Dawda Jawara—a medical student, Mansour Camara—a well-respected accountant, Bakemo Conteh—a businessman, Amie Fatajo—businesswoman, Fatou Saho—a prominent UDP member, Nancy (Buramanding) Saho—a prominent UDP member, Jainaba Singhateh aka Jainaba Ebrima Dibba—a Nurse at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland in the State of Washington in the United States, Ebrima Ceesay— also a Nurse at Evergreen, Awa Conteh—a businesswoman, Mariama-Seedy Kinteh, Kaddy Fatajo, Rohey Fatato, Saikou Kinteh—a healthcare worker), Nyima Solo Sandeng, and Njundu Drammeh—a Commissioner at The Gambia Human Rights Commission are all said to be founding members of the HPP.
The priority of the founding members, at this stage, is to look among three well-respected and serious people with the intellectual pedigree to lead the party as Secretary-General and flagbearer. In a recently concluded meeting, they decided that the party would recruit a flagbearer who has no personal-political ambition but to lead The Gambia in alignment with the vision of the founders of the HPP. The flagbearer must be an accomplished, well respected, imbued with exceptional leadership characters with sound education. Above all, the founding fathers of the HPP are looking for an empathetic flagbearer who is honest, truthful, an excellent communicator, and has the integrity to always keep his ‘word as a bond’— unlike the current president who ended up betraying all his coalition partners and reneged on the agreement he signed with them.
Three people are currently on their list of a possible flagbearer. Bubacarr Drammeh a former State Attorney at the Ministry of Justice. He is presently working at a prominent Law Firm in Seattle, in the State of Washington in the United States of America. The second contender on their list is Musa Camara who holds a double master’s degree in Public Administration, and Health Administration from the University of Washington. The third candidate the founders of the HPP are looking into is Harona Drammeh who is the proprietor of Paradise TV and Radio.
According to sources, the party is going all out to convince these three gentlemen to lead them. They need only one of them to be the flagbearer but will be happy if they could get all three gentlemen to become members of the new party.
The founders, who are all prominent Badibunkas, believed that the only way to resolve the predicament of the Badibunkas on their aspiration to lead The Gambia to serve their local and regional interests is through a proxy president. They understand that Badibunkas are politically too militant and aggressive for the larger Gambia population to elect them into the highest office of the land. They said the closest they had ever come to ruling The Gambia was with Sheriff Mustapha Dibba, but Gambians never voted him into the Office of the Presidency.
One of the founders of the party said that the public perception of the Badidunkas is that they are always angry, abrasive, and sometimes impulsive on the political stage. Therefore, they need to put a positive outlook with uplifting messages to make themselves happy with the rest of the Gambian people.
Founders of the HPP said that they don’t have to rule The Gambia themselves but do something similar to what the former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Muhamad said Israel did to rule the world by proxy. Many of them believed that their last resort is to rule The Gambia by proxy of a Sarahule presidency. They believe that even though their people have supported candidate from Niani and Jimara to the presidency, those two presidents all ended up betraying them once they ascended to the presidency. They do not want the UDP to use them as financiers and the vehicle to political victory only to jettison them overboard after coming to power. They argued that while they are looking out for their local and exclusive interests and pride while simultaneously looking out for their Kianka cousins, they believed that the HPP will also look for the interest of all Gambians. The solution to Gambia’s problems, they argued, is a viable Badibunka-founded party led by a Sarahule candidate who wealthy Sarahule tycoons will bankroll into the presidency. Such a candidate, they argued, will also peel away voters from President Barrow enabling the candidate of the HPP to win the presidency. The HPP will have offices in Salikeni, Farafeni, Kerewan, Njaba Kunda, Njawara, Saba, Gunjur, Suwareh Kunda, Kinteh Kunda, Minteh Kunda, Marong Kunda, Illiasa, Tobacco Road in Banjul, Dippa Kunda, Soma, Nyorojataba, Sankandi, Wudehba, Wurokan, Dumbuto, Kwinella, jail, Gambissara, Garawol, Brikama, Basse, and the Diaspora Headquarters will be in Seattle in the United States. The founders of the HPP also said that for the HPP to attract the millennial generation of voters, that the official song of their campaign will be Happy by Pharrell Williams because they want the people of The Gambia and around the world to be happy.